Instant Checkmate has been used by many Americans who are suspicious that they're significant other is cheating on them. If you suspect that your partner is stepping out, try entering their name in the box above to see what their background report reveals.
Other members have found clues in background reports like:
- Secret phone numbers
- Bogus email addresses used for online dating websites
- Dating profiles
- Hidden social media accounts
- And much more
Unlike physical cheating, an emotional affair can be much harder to identify. There may be no obvious red flags, such as chunks of time left unaccounted for or the smell of perfume or cologne on their clothes. But just because your partner isn’t physically intimate with another person doesn’t mean they’re faithful.
In some ways, an emotional affair can have a more devastating impact on your relationship than infidelity.
Although your significant other may not get physically intimate with another person, an emotional affair can be a precursor to a physical one. Forging an emotional connection with someone can sometimes pave the way for the cheater to fall in love and possibly leave their partner for their emotional side-piece. Perhaps this is why 60% of adults consider emotional cheating to be exactly the same as physical cheating.
Emotional affairs are becoming more and more common, and it’s more likely that a man will have an emotional affair than a woman. According to one recent survey of married couples, 20% of surveyed participants are coping with an emotional affair, and 35% of wives and 45% of husbands confessed to emotionally cheating on their spouses.
So, what is an emotional affair, and how can you tell if you’re a victim of one?
What is an emotional affair?
An emotional affair is a love affair of the heart. While emotional cheating excludes physical intimacy, it’s often a precursor to full-blown infidelity.
An emotional affair may appear to be a very good friendship … with an undercurrent of sexual chemistry. If you’re having an emotional affair, you might be texting another person and then hiding the messages from your spouse, even if they’re not explicit or sexual in nature.
Someone engaged in emotional cheating will start to think of this other person far more than they think about their partner. They may even complain to this person about their partner and start comparing the two.
Maybe the emotional affair began at work, as 60% of affairs start in the office. You may go out of your way to spend extra time with this person and find excuses to contact them. You’re extremely flirty and tactile with each other. You hug when you see each other, and they touch your arm when you talk. It’s all in good fun — at first.
Eventually, you might start to wonder what life would be like if this person replaced your partner. What would it feel like to be in a relationship with them? In some cases, you might start to feel jealous of their significant other and resentful toward your own.
But perhaps the most telling sign of emotional cheating is hiding it from your partner. If you think that your partner would be angry if they saw how you acted with this other man or woman, then you probably already know that you’re doing something wrong.
Emotional Affair Signs
Do you suspect that your significant other is having an emotional affair? Here are the signs that something suspicious may be going on under your nose:
They're Shady About Their Cell Phone
Whether they’re emotionally cheating or just plain cheating, the evidence is likely to be on their cell phone. This is why they’ll tend to keep it by them at all times and have multiple passwords enabled to keep their activities on lockdown.
If you pick up their phone or ask to use it, they might snatch it back or become visibly uncomfortable. On the flipside, if you do open up their messages or call log, it might be suspiciously empty … because they’ve already deleted the evidence.
Always on Their Mind
If someone new is on their mind, it will be very difficult for the emotional cheater to avoid bringing them up in conversation. This happens almost subconsciously. When you think about someone constantly, it’s natural to want to talk about them.
If your partner keeps talking about a mysterious new person, it’s a red flag that they might be engaged in an emotional affair. This is especially true if they compare you or speak disparagingly about the other person’s significant other.
A Change in Their Physical Appearance
Does your significant other suddenly dress differently or put more effort into their appearance? Maybe they’ve adopted a new perfume or cologne, or they have begun hitting the gym when they used to be content with being a couch potato.
Withdrawal and Moodiness
Does your partner seem more withdrawn and moody lately? Perhaps you’ve felt a void opening up between the two of you, or maybe you’ve noticed that date night is filled with more awkward silences than fits of laughter.
If someone starts to invest their emotions elsewhere, you’re likely to feel it in your relationship. As they invest more in their emotional affair, there isn’t a lot left for you. Perhaps they’ve started picking more fights with you, and you constantly feel like you’re walking on eggshells.
When someone starts to compare you with another person, the other person will become more idealized. After all, they don’t see their work colleague first thing in the morning, or in the day-to-day situations where you may not look picture-perfect.
It’s easy to put someone on a pedestal if you only see them for a few hours every day, compared to the 24/7 grind that most long-term couples experience together.